What It’s Like To Come Out To Immigrant Parents

What It’s Like To Come Out To Immigrant Parents
What It’s Like To Come Out To Immigrant Parents
Published on 03/23/2017
What It’s Like To Come Out To Immigrant Parents

Comments

Joels story made me tear up when he said he was going to leave and his father blocked the door and told him he loved him and not to leave
I feel like no one should hide there love life. Love is love <3
When he said his mom told him he was trash I didn't like that. I'm a Christian and I believe that everyone deserves unconditional love, because that's what Christ taught us to do.
I first came out to my salvadoran mother and bolivian father when i was 12. My father was cool. My mother was cold. She took me to church to join the local youthgroup in order to make me sociable and normal. I grown to love the youthgroup but I was still who I am. Only when I'm was 16 she made peace with this reality that I am trans and allow me to cut my hair, wear male clothes, and use my real name. Now I'm 20 and almost my whole family knows who I am and never felt so much peace :)
But...isn't everyone immigrants except the natives
New favorite Buzzfeed "Feels" video? Yep.
proud of all you :)
My life..
Joel I am so thankful your father stopped you. Your story made me cry. I hope all of you find love, understanding and happiness.
I came out to my father just two days ago. At first he told me he wanted me to see a psychologist and claimed I was just confused. I stood my ground and told him that this was who I am and that it's not some disease that could be fixed with medicine and that it wasn't a choice either. He told me it was something he'd never expect he'd have to go through but finally came to an understanding and said he'd love me unconditionally and that I was still the same person.
I love how with the years people are starting to change slowly but surely. I'm thankful both my parents are accepting of my sexuality. I've never felt so relieved.
This video is inspirational. If I EVER have kids and they say dad, I'm gay I'll hug them and say your still MY kid, your are still apart of this family. People who are treated differently because of their choice are the ones who belong in whatever pit of hell their gods deem worthy. This is the one video from buzzfeed that hit harder then anything else today.
Chris Ho the Mexican guy's story made me legit cry 😢 especially the part where he said his dad blocked the door & told him he loved him 😭
Bravo BuzzFeed for putting out such an exceptional and powerful video. Your comedy keeps us entertained but you've truly out done yourselves with this one. Don't let anyone tell you who you need to be. Only you know who you truly are and who you are is beautiful. <3
I can relate on some level, whenever I ask for new clothes because my old ones are too small or something like acne products, my mother would say "Are you gay huh? Gay people want these things, so are you gay?" I hate how ignortant she is, she's basically using gay as an insult to me. Thank you for the video I hope there'll be less people like her
Omg I love the Asian mom with her sweet little voice <3. Made me want to cry
when my son came out .I just said to him look at me (cause he was looking at the floor ) and told him i loved him and that i always have.
This hit home....I havent and never will come out to my parents. I come from a Mexican family and I know it will be hard. My brother just came out of the closet a few weeks ago and my dad told him he's never gona have a family and to ignore his feelings for men...I know it hurt him a lot....and it'll hurt him even more to have two kids the way we are......idk I just cried my eyes out...and I bet it wasn't easy for them....
God bless all of you who are struggling to come out to your parents. Yes I said God bless. The God I believe in love everyone who are good and who do good things. Not those who hate and bring others down. Stay strong and remember that there are those who support you even if I don't know you. It truly does get better. You have allies like me out there.
This video brings back bitter memories. I certainly had not prepared for rejection and disappointment from a parent who had raised me to endlessly love and value all people. But oh well! I was strong enough cope and had a wonderful partner to help deal with feeling like I had lost a life long friend ❤️ being happier than I ever was before was worth it :)
My mom didn't believe me....now she says she does but they both won't call my girlfriends anything but friends. They assure me they love me no matter what but i still feel like they don't accept it. My mom will sometimes call them lovers like it's just something dirty for fun and it breaks my heart...she won't understand that it's love....she even still says blah blah will happen when you marry a man someday and I'm like mom. I like girls.....then she gets this look. I know I'm loved,but never fully accepted. I see pictures of parents holding signs that say I support my gay daughter at pride and I cry because I wish that was them. I know others have it worse but still...
I love my son more than life it self unconditionally. I want him to be happy
This post gave me a good cry. I wanna hug them all!
Wow, this is a verybinspiring story for me, i am from the philippines and being gay and coming out of the closet is very hard to accept for parents because of traditional catholic values. I wish someday i could come out to my parents and family so i can marry my long time girlfriend, which my family thinks is just my bestfriend..
I can honestly say if any one of my children ever came to me and told me they were gay I would be 100% fine with it. I just want them to be Happy!
I wish people would study hormones, biology and how it affects peoples desires for gender, instead of making assumptions and trying to control reality with their belief systems. People only act and react to situations the way they learn to.
penis
Wow as a first generation child and lesbian, I really feel for the Mexican kid and the Indian girl in this video. My parents are also immigrants, super religious and very morally conservative. Since my coming out, I have been told I'm an abomination, I am mentally sick and during a heated argument, my mom admitted she sometimes wishes I never had been born because of the "burden" I've inflicted upon the family. We all have fears before coming out and despite preparing myself for the worst, I was hopeful that their unconditional love would surpass their convictions. I guess you can never really be truly ready to face rejection from your once lifelong support system. It seems they were more concerned with what the rest of our large family and their church might think than how I feel about them accepting who I am at the root of my very being and meeting the biggest other part of my life- my fiancé. There are days of "I love you's" and days with "I'm praying for you to get better." Amidst it all, there comes a point where we all just break and everything just turns to "fine" despite loving and accepting ourselves and aiming to be true to who we are in every facet. It would be a lie to say it didn't hurt to the smallest degree. Five years later, I wonder when the hurt simply stops caring.
Coming out to my father was the scariest shit of my life. He was surprisingly accepting being his from a country that is completely against it.
I wish I would have that courage to come out to my parents. I know that my mom strongly disapproves because some days she would remind me that I am a woman and that I can not date another woman. She called me one day when she saw pictures of me kissing another girl and yelled at me to not be gay. I didn't pick up her calls for weeks so she decided to drop it and assumed it was just a misunderstanding. I also hate going over to my relative's gatherings because people always talk about me. People would always make jokes and ask me questions that made me feel uncomfortable. They would tell each other that I am a bad person and a bad influence around their kids. This one time my uncle whom I had just met for the first time, came over to visit. My mom told him how I was so he tried to perform an exorcism on me. At first I didn't know what he was doing but then at the end, he said that he had removed the demon inside me and that I can go back to being a woman again. I was pretty hurt but I didn't want to say anything. it's not easy coming out to parents who are very traditional because they don't want to be embarrassed or looked down on by relatives. I have a few siblings who knows that I like women but they don't know how I feel about my own body. I'm afraid they will look at me differently and treat me as an outsider.
I am not LGBT, but I feel like these kind of things never get brought up as much as they should. I know so many people who have immigrant parents who have religious values and a different view on what kind of lifestyle a person is "supposed" to have. I know how hard it is, because I have seen it first hand. Props to the people on this video who came out to speak on this subject. This is absolutely amazing. <3
This made me cry 😭
I fell inlove with a cat once.
Wow, this made me cry. Proud of you guys and anyone else who has the bravery to come out. I was scared to come out, and I was surprised when my family fully accepted me.
I came out to my family at 16, was outed socially by my brother at 13, and outed to my family by my eldest brother at 15. I had no support network to turn to and few people who understood me. My peers stopped and stared at me often wondering what was wrong with me, while my brother took advantage of the situation to point and laugh at me so he can seem dominant to those around him. Having traditional and religious Vietnamese refugee parents was a bigger mountain of frustration I had to climb over. I've suffered through a tremendous amount of depression and even considered suicide at a few points of my life. Everyday was another day of me being a catalyst for agony. I was then shown a light of hope by my young aunts whom had been a bit more modernized than a lot of my other family and they allowed me to believe that things do get better and that perception is just a mirror that needs to be cleaned from the dust its collected. They saw that I was strong and made it convincing enough for my parents to realize that not only was I THEIR son, but that I was also a human being just like them. They knew I deserved love and happiness and me being constantly harassed and teased about my own sexuality was not going to fix any of it. I eventually conquered my depression by discovering the simple luxuries of life and the small messages and meanings of words and communication. We all have heard the word "Faggot" before and unfortunately I've grown to lose many friends to suicide because of that word. After being called something for so long you start to slowly fall into the madness and think that you are that horrible thing people title you as. I asked myself a simple question that changed my life and healed my of my depressive state. That question being, "What is your favorite letter in the alphabet and why?" If anyone cares to know my answer feel free to comment or inbox me. Comment below with your answer as to what your favorite letter might be and why. Words are powerful and the letters are the components to the strength they hold, which is why I'm a strong believer of civil mannerism. We are all human so why do we talk to each other like monsters?
The japanese mom is so kawaii
Made me cry. I'm glad that guys dad said no you're not leaving we love you, his mom needed to know that's how you handle that. With a hug and love.
You will not leave this household. We love you, please stay.
Beautiful.
Biggest fear and concern, how would my family react and if there's anything that would change, but everything turns incredible how they embrace for who I'am. Thanks to my friends who supported me. Thanks buzzfeed for the video.
My parents are immigrants from Armenia; my dad came here around 20 years ago and my mom about 16 years ago. I've heard so much about people having really religious parents and such, and their lack of open mindedness due to this. I however, have grown up in a very atheist household. When I was younger, I came out to my mom, but it was only because she found out about my (ex now) girlfriend. She was worried about both mine and the family's reputation first, and then she told me that I was just confused, that I was just being influenced by other people and media. She wouldnt let me hang out with my friends that she knew to be LGBT. She cut me off from shows like Glee. And I had to tell her that I had made a mistake and was just experimenting to get her off my back. My dad never found out.
Considering sharing this with my parents in hope for acceptance and understanding. Good luck to those still struggling to find a way out; the struggle is over when you come out.
Jenny Le
This is really an interesting concept, very touching
This made me tear up
Abraham Isai
Sometimes I see people that look at gay people like their disgusting and that they don't deserve to be happy . But I look at them the same way in disgust that they could be so narrowed minded . This video brought tears to my eyes... I'm straight but to imAgine being in their place and having to fight for love and being scared at the same time from
Their own parents must be the worst feeling of all :( I hope this world starts to accept all of us for who we are regardless what the media or traditions say !
Jose Diaz this is the video i was talking about earlier!
I'm not gay, and I'm a Hispanic European mix with origins in Central and South America...especially in Central America their head is so far up their ass with religion, that they're so closed in about being gay. My mother has always told me that if ever the event presented itself that me or my brother would come out to her, she would love us still on the basis that gay or not we are still her children--humans deserving of love. You have to be open about these things..this is not a fad, it's real, and I think parents have to stop treating it like their kids are picking options, especially in the Hispanic culture. I'd imagine it's hard to be gay and Hispanic because I tend to think they struggle more. You're kids are your kids for life even after you're long gone...whether or not you chose to have them, they're here and they're human, you have to treat them with as much respect as you'd want them to have for you. I'm speaking to all Hispanic parents.
In eighth grade my parents found out that i was bisexual through my cousin. They told me that i was gping to hell and i was just going thru a phase and it was all my friends fault for making me this way. Im now 21 and not bisexual, but a lesbian. I'm terrified to come out as a lesbian to my parents cause they are homophobic and I'm afraid they will kick me out and disown me :(
I love you guys at Buzzfeed. Your channel is so diverse and I love you, I love you, I love you. <3
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