When the ice cream man would come around the neighborhood and play music, it meant that he ran out of ice cream....
"I can never be a virgin because I liked meat too much"
My mom told me that in the factories that give off smoke in the sky there was a witch cooking little kids that were bad and that didn't listen to their parents. And if I we stayed out pass the street lights the witch would fly down and take us there to cook us.
When I was six, my mom told me I had to eat my broccoli so that that my "boobies will get big." Cause you know, that's what six year olds are thinking about.
My dad told me
1. It was a law that I would have to put my butter on my pancakes before my syrup.
2. It was a law that I had to put my cereal in before my milk.
So if I continued to do things backwards he would have to call the police and have them arrest me. Thanks dad!
My parents told me if I look under the table during dinner, a rooster would peck out my eyes
my parents used to tell me that they weren't my real parents and that they found me next to a public trash bin and they took me home and loved me as if I was their own, and every time I was doing something stupid they were saying "we should've never take you from that trash bin..." I always got sad when they said that, but now I find it hilarious :D
My dad told me that the little balls in tapioca pudding was really fish eyes. I never ate it again. Im 25 now and still cant eat it.
My parents told me I was allergic to peanut butter so they could eat my Reese's and butterfingers on Halloween.
I'm surprised no one has said anything about watermelon seeds growing in their stomach like my parents did...... I was so scared that I didn't eat watermelon for a good year or so! They pointed out that every pregnant woman we saw had a watermelon growing inside her because she had eaten the seeds from the watermelon 😑
When my parents would do adult things in their room, and me (being a nosy kid) would knock on the door, they told me they were talking with Santa, and if I didn't leave them alone Santa wouldn't bring me anything for Christmas.
"I can never be a virgin, I like meat too much." Oh my goodness. I am crying. The innocence is killing me.
If I didn't trim my toenails they would rub against my sheets and start a fire
My grandmother told me that she didn't put cream in her coffee to "keep her black". It didn't help that my white auntie used cream in hers... Skin color explained to a 5 year old!
My dad also showed me pictures of concentration camps and told me they were boarding schools. I got straight a's from then on 😑
I asked my mother what a lesbian was and she told me that a lesbian is a left- handed person.
My grandpa used to have a scar on his stomach and when he used to tell me it was a battle scar from when he was in the navy. I believed him till he died and my grandma told me he had kidney surgery.
My mom told me that I got my freckles from standing near a screen door in the sun too long.
If I swallowed my bubble gum it would stick to my bones and I wouldn't grow........I'm 5'2....
My dad told my brother that if he kept playing with "it" it would fall off because that's what happened with his sisters -_-
The comments are 10x better than the video...
My dad told me if I masturbated too much, I would go blind. I responded saying, "Dad, I'm over here!"
If I kept making silly faces my face would get stuck that way forever.
When I was 4 I wanted to be a vegetarian, so to get me to eat meat my parents told me dinner meats were made from the "bully animals"....
When I was 6, my dad told me and my brothers that he called the adoption agency on us and they were going to come and get us, so we sat by the window crying and waiting for them to come...until my mom came home
When I was 5, I was curious about pregnant women so I asked my mom 'how do you make a baby?' she told me I had to lay down next to a boy. My best friend was a boy and I made him lay down beside me, I told him we were going to make a baby lmao😂😂 we layed there until we fell asleep lol!!
My dad said that if I stayed in the pool/lake too long that I would become a crocodile. A "sign" of becoming a crocodile was when my fingers started to prune 😑
When I was little, my dad told me that rocks were dinosaur eggs that never hatched. I believed that until I was 19 years old.
My parents told me when I was in elementary that if I even hugged a boy then I could get pregnant
My mama told me that if I didn't wear socks I would get pneumonia in my vagina. Seems legit.
My dad gave me a can of spray paint and told me to shake it until the ball stops rattling
My Grandma, a pediatric nurse her entire life, told me that sugar was poison.
It wasn't until my parents were called in for an emergency parent-teacher conference towards the end of kindergarten because I refused to eat a birthday cupcake and loudly accused the teacher, in front of the entire class, of trying to poison me that I learned the truth!
But God Bless my Grandma; I wish I never would have started eating sugar!
When I was little I was sad about collecting the eggs from the chickens because I was worried about the baby chicks inside. I was told that the eggs weren't fertilized unless a Rooster SPRAYED them. So they were ok to get. So when I was about 23 I was eating lunch with a co-worker and there were two ducks one on top of the other. I was like...what? And she said they are doing "It". And I was like What? Birds don't do that? The male has to "SPRAY" the eggs to fertilize them. Hahaha She said Nope, she grew up on a farm and all birds that she knew of all did it this way. I then was visiting my sister a couple years later and this story came up and she said "WHAT? Really?" she's 5yrs older then me so obviously she was told the same LIE!!! :P hehe
When I was 7 or so I asked my dad what race we were and he told me we were Mexican and Japanese but I couldn't tell anyone or they'd take us away. Well I told everyone. No surprise they didn't believe me. Turns out we're black. So...yeah.
My mom told me that every time we drove past a grave yard I had to hold my breath so I wouldn't breathe in the evil spirits. I still do that to this day 😂
My mom used to tell me that if I stuck my arm out of the window in a moving car, that it would fall off. She said it happened to her when she was little, and for the longest time I believed that she had a fake arm.
My parents always told me that if I lied, my tongue would turn black. So every time they suspected I was lying about something they would say "stick out your tongue" and if I was too scared to, they knew I was lying. Pretty genius if you ask me. I plan on passing that one on
my mom told me that every night the room fairy came down and checked my room and that if my room wasnt clean, the room fairy would cut one of my toes off.
When I was really young my dad convinced me that my middle name was "Noodleheimer"
When I was little I would only eat chicken. So, to get me to eat other foods, they told me everything was chicken. Mashed potatoes? Just a mushy kind of chicken. Broccoli? Just a green kind of chicken...I got pork, chicken and beef mixed up until I was 13 years old.
My parents used to tell us the emergency lights button in the car was actually an "eject" button. If we were bad, they could eject us out of the car.
My mom told me when I was 7 that Grape Nut Cereal was made from the seeds in grapes, I never questioned it till I was 25 (17 years ago) and at a party trying to be smart said "hey guys did you know Grape Nut cereal is made from the seeds from grapes?" They made fun of me so much one person left bought a box and returned it to me to show me the real ingredients.....Soooooo I called my mom when I got home after feeling like a total effing idiot, and asked her why she told me that, her response, and I quote " I had 8 kids and you guys were always bugging me with questions so I told you the quickest thing I could think of so you would all buzz off" yep....same as when she told me at 10 I was allergic to denim....didn't wear jeans til I was 18 and she told me the truth was because I was too fat when I was young and they didn't want to spend the money....oh I could go on for days.....fml
My stepdad told me UPS trucks took away little kids who behaved badly. So if I saw one while I was playing outside I would run inside my house and hide or I saw a truck driving past us I would duck down and avoid eye contact. This went on for years.
We should do it the other way around .. "Lies we told our parents "
How dare parents lie to their children like this!?... Now if you don't mind I have a tooth to put under my pillow
My mom used to tell me if I watched a dog poop I'd get a stye in my eye. #MexicanLogic
My dad told me if i tried to poop too hard, id poop out my liver.
And that intestines were called testicles.
My mom Jami used to tell me "Country music makes your ears bleed." The perfect example of a parent lying to protect their child
I don't have money that's that lie right there lol.
My mom told me that if I swallowed watermelon seeds then a watermelon would grow inside me.